How Self-Compassion Helps You and Your Patients

• Self-compassion is the process of turning compassion inward, according to Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the study of self-compassion. 
• There are three approaches nurses can take to begin the practice of self-compassion. 
• Your coping skills, resilience, and longevity in the field of nursing can all improve through the act of self-compassion. 

Whether you’re a nurse at the bedside or in the home care setting, you are inevitably pouring yourself into your work.  

You probably stay late at work or stay up late as a home care nurse documenting your day. You skip bathroom breaks and meals and ignore your aching back to make sure everyone else’s needs are met. When was the last time you truly met your own needs? 

Maybe you can’t remember the last time you truly took care of you. I get it! Many nurses hit a wall and burn out because self-compassion isn’t even on their radar. 

We’ve all heard the sayings or even said them to others — “Put on your oxygen mask first so you can take care of others,” or, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” 

If you neglect yourself long enough, your ability to care for your patients will suffer and so will your health. 

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is the process of turning compassion inward, according to Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the study of self-compassion. She also states self-compassion requires being “kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when we make mistakes or feel inadequate.” 

We recognize that as nurses we want to put our patients first while caring for them. But having self-compassion means allowing ourselves to take time for our own needs. 

We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, constantly striving to be the perfect nurse and coworker. The very act of trying to be perfect can lead to stress, anxiety, and, ultimately, burnout. 

Nursing is more than a profession; it’s a calling. Self-compassion is not a luxury — it’s a necessity. 

Burnout in Healthcare

As many of you know, burnout is rampant in nursing. With stressful work environments, long hours, and understaffing, it’s easy to see why. 

The physical symptoms of burnout may appear first — insomnia, chronic fatigue, headaches, and stomach pain. The emotional symptoms can present as feeling detached from your job, irritability, or resentment toward patients, families, or coworkers. 

You may ignore these signs and push through. Tough it out like you’ve always done. But what happens when you can’t anymore? What if pushing these symptoms to the side causes you to have a full-fledged breakdown? 

To prevent this from happening, you need to take steps to prioritize yourself.

Self-Compassion in Action: Practical Tips for Nurses 

As you embrace self-compassion, it doesn’t mean abandoning your responsibilities or compromising on the care you deliver to your patients. It means making sure you have enough energy to continue being the excellent nurse you are without sacrificing your health and well-being. 

Here is a list of ways you can start practicing self-compassion: 

1. Stop Trying to Be Perfect: It’s OK to take a break or ask for help. You’re human after all! There will be days when your personal life exhausts you, and you don’t have 100% to give at work. Never compromise your patient’s care, but do communicate if you need extra help some days. It might be a good day to take off and prioritize your health. 
2. Set Boundaries: If you are not accustomed to doing this, it can take some time to feel comfortable doing so. Saying, “No,” or, “Let me think about it,” is OK and necessary sometimes. The demands placed on you at work can seem daunting, but you need to speak up when you feel overwhelmed. You need to create time and space to recharge. Your patients need a nurse who is pleasant, clear-headed, and fully present. 
3. Prioritize Self-Care: Although a trip to the spa or resort sounds amazing, self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as reading a good book, getting out in nature, or starting a new hobby. During your work shift, take just five minutes to walk away when things are calm. Breathe deep or stretch in an area where you can get some privacy. Small, consistent moments of calm can help prevent burnout. Talk to a friend or a coworker about how you are feeling. I’m sure they have felt overwhelmed at times. We all do! Most people would be happy to lend an ear and offer some advice on how they got through challenging times.  

Become a Better Nurse with Self-Compassion

Having compassion for others starts with having compassion for ourselves. Let’s fill up our cups so we can be the best for others. Here’s why you can become a better nurse as you embrace self-compassion: 

• Improving your coping skills: If you’ve worked in healthcare for any length of time, you know that you need coping skills. There will be sadness, happiness, and everything in between. Knowing how to cope as you deliver good care is key to being a good nurse. 
• Improving resilience: Developing self-compassion can help lessen your vulnerability to caregiving fatigue. Feeling overwhelmed and depleted can come on regularly (and often) in healthcare.  
• Increasing Longevity in the Profession: Being a nurse is more like a marathon than a sprint. If you want to last in this profession, you need to prioritize taking care of yourself. Check-in regularly with yourself, practice self-compassion, and continue doing the work you love for years to come. 

The Bottom Line

Remember that nurses are usually their own harshest critics. Having self-compassion is not about being selfish or indulgent; it’s about recognizing your worth and realizing that you deserve the same care and attention that you give to others every single day. 

As you develop the ability to recharge your batteries, you can teach others how to embrace this way of living. You will have ample opportunities to show patients, family members, and coworkers how caring for themselves is an essential part of taking care of their health. 

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