Working Mom: The Tug and Pull of Nursing and Motherhood

• One nurse shares her passion for nursing and how her life and career dynamics have shifted as a working mom.  
• She has balanced feelings of guilt with stepping down from a supervisory role to gain more work-life balance as a working mom.  
• Implementing more self-care is essential to better managing being a parent and caring for patients and their families.  

Being a nurse has been one of the most rewarding and, more recently, challenging things in my life. I have been a nurse for 10 years and a NICU nurse for nine years. I was drawn to becoming a nurse because I their impact while my family members were cared for. The relationship many nurses formed with my sick family members and the rest of my family members was inspiring, and I knew this was what I was meant to do.  

Moreover, I knew I was meant to be a NICU nurse when I did my preceptorship during my last term in nursing school. I just fell in love with being able to help premature and sick newborns improve and supporting their families along the way. However, since becoming a mother in the past few years, my mindset has shifted, and there is a constant tug and pull to balance being a mother and working as a bedside nurse. 

Life and Career Dynamics for the Working Mom

As you know, nursing school is challenging because you not only have the intensity of the school workload, but life is still happening, and you have little control over these things. Despite the difficulties you might face in school, it does not prepare you for the realities of nursing and the healthcare system.  

You are never truly prepared for staffing shortages, admission after admission, lack of supplies, disregard and disrespect that other healthcare team members have toward you, and the pure exhaustion it creates to work a 12-hour nursing shift. It is shocking to your core.  

However, I will say that all those instances have made me a more versatile nurse. When things get crazy busy and stressful on the floor, I can remain calm and promptly give my patients the care they need. This is not to say that I do not freak out … you bet I do! My mind might be racing, but I take a few deep breaths and carry on helping my team stay calm with the goal of helping patients and their families.  

Obtaining More Work-Life Balance

One of the most challenging things I have encountered as a nurse is when I became a first-time mom to a beautiful baby boy almost two years ago (and another fantastic, handsome baby boy eight months ago). Two babies under 2 is no joke!  

Unfortunately, I was only on maternity leave for approximately three months with our first son. Both my husband and I must work to provide for our family. The working mom guilt was real. And I felt like I had failed our son by returning to work because of the thought that I would miss out on so much. I had stepped down from a supervisor role to have a better work-life balance, especially with a newborn, and to be there more for our baby (now babies). I had searched for remote nursing jobs and other positions but could not find anything to meet our financial needs. I knew we would adjust, and I believed it would all work out, but it didn’t make the process any easier.    

Self-Care and Support for the Working Mom

Balancing motherhood and working as a nurse has been challenging for me and many of my coworkers with children. Despite only working two to three shifts per week, the shifts are long, and you do miss out on some moments, whether that’s putting your baby down to sleep for the night or missing a sports game or musical because you work every other weekend. Despite having your village — whether family, friends, daycare, or school— it is hard, and you can’t help but feel that you aren’t doing enough for your family, especially when you care for other people at work. Yes, we find ways to adapt to life as a working parent, but we need to support one another and be more understanding of the difficulties many nurses go through when working and being a parent. 

My goal is to make all nurses going through a similar situation aware, whether you have kids at home or are a caregiver for your parents or family members, that you are not alone. And try to reach out to others for help or just to talk. 

The Bottom Line

It is easier said than done, but it’s vital to have a support system to turn to and/or a hobby to clear your mind and get your feelings out. It is necessary to let it out so all of those emotions don’t build up and contribute to burnout. Implementing more self-care is so important so we can fill our own tanks and, in turn, better manage being a parent and caring for our patients and their families.  

For all you nurse mommas and papas out there, you are extraordinary rockstars who give so much to your children and your patients. You set a wonderful example to your children about providing care and support for the sick and their families. We got this!   

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